Love is never easy
by JA-BGTB-SBWH-JC
Summary: set in episode 4.09 when Alice is packing, please R


Alice's POV

I have been waiting for Danny to say the words I wanted to hear for weeks now, but he didn't and now I knew why; Danny and Vanessa were together, she had taken him away from me and now I had no chance.

I knew what I had to do; I had to get away, away from here, away from Vanessa.... away from Danny. Maybe I should just stay away forever, there's nothing here for me, no-one.

I planned to get the next plane first thing in the morning; I knew t was best to leave without saying goodbye besides, no-one would miss me.

I knew I had been caught when Danny decided to poke his head through my bedroom door.

"Hey Alice, could you..." I looked up and I could just about make out Danny's face through the tears, I knew he was shocked I could sense it.

"...Alice what's wrong? Why are you packing a suitcase" as Danny spoke I could feel more and more tears falling down my cheeks, "Alice, talk to me, why are you packing? Where are you going tell me please" I decided that if he really wanted to know then I should just tell him, but it was so damn hard.

"I...I can't... it doesn't matter, it's not important" I tried to move past him to get something from my draw but I felt his hand gently grasp my wrist to try and turn me, I half turned my body but Danny turned me the rest of the way so that was facing him.

"It's important to me if not anyone else" he had that look in his eye that he always had when he wanted something and any other time I would have given in, but this time I wasn't going to, had made up my mind, I wasn't going to turn back.

"It's not important ok, just drop it please?" I practically screamed at him without realising I was, I finally looked up at him as he removed his had from my wrist he was clearly shocked by my tone of voice.

"Ok, if that's what you want."

"It is and I'm sorry for screaming at you I'm just stressed."

"You don't have to apologise..." he pulled me into a hug which shocked me at first but I soon relaxed into his embrace "... I just have to ask, where are you going to go?"

"Don't know probably back home to Glasgow, travel around for a bit then maybe come back here for a visit."

Danny loosened his hold on my waist and looked down at me and said "what do you mean maybe? You're not actually coming back?"

"I don't know Danny I guess there's nothing for me to come back to; no one is going to miss me."

"Ok, if that's how you feel, then I won't stand in your way." Danny dropped his arms and started to walk away, I guess I just couldn't rest asking.

"Do you have a reason for me to come back? Something for me to come back to?"

"Yes I do, what about... actually you know what forget about it, you've made up your mind now nothing I say will change that."

"You're right and I guess I may as well say it now because it's just going to be harder to say it later, so here goes, it was really nice knowing you, it really was and no matter what you think, I will miss you but I have to do this on my own and I guess I should say this no matter how hard it is for me or you, so Danny goodb..." Danny put his hand over my mouth before I could finish my sentence; I just stared up at him in confusion.

"No, don't say it because if you say it then it means you're not coming back."

I could feel tears in my eyes threatening to fall, I put my hand on Danny's cheek and smiled and said "if it really means that much to you then I will come back and visit, ok? Danny please look at me, I promise ok?" Danny smiled at my promise but it soon faded when he said "so you're not just going on vacation you're actually leaving you're never coming back?"

"I'm sorry, no" I tried my best to smile in the hope that Danny would smile as well but he just stared at me hoping I would just suddenly change my mind but we both knew it wasn't going to happen.

"What are you saying sorry for? It's not your fault you want to try something new, why are you apologising?" This time I knew the tears were falling and I said the first thing that came into my mind "because saying sorry means not having to say goodbye and it's easier than saying what my heart wants me to say."

And with that I turned around and carried on packing I knew that if I said anymore it would cause more tears and that isn't what I wanted, I wanted to be happy no matter the circumstances and no matter what I was feeling inside.

I only turned to see Danny nod and leave my room, I knew I had don't the right thing, I didn't need to say what my heart wanted me to say, well at least not until I, myself, was ready to say it.


End file.
